Director: Charles Roxburgh
Production Company: Shock Marathons
Genre: Comedy/Horror
One Sentence Synopsis: He’s the most indecorous aquatic menace of all-time.
Series: Standalone
Release Date: 2012
Running Time: 99 minutes
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Trailer: Click Here
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Watch (Rental/Download): Click Here
Reviewed by: Reverend Leviathan
Final Score: 4 moons (out of 5)
“After three years of self-imposed exile, a man voyages home to resume his work as an educational mentor. When a mysterious woman helps him locate the RIVERBEAST that terrorizes the town, he takes his ‘band of brothers’ on a dazzling mission to the perilous river, where the only potential outcomes are VICTORY or DEATH!â€
– Summary from DVD case.
(The plot summary on the back cover is purposely incorrect. The producers were trying to imitate old VHS horror that had misleading info.)
Writer/producer/actor Matt Farley scores again with Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You! His production company, Shock Marathons, previously released Monsters, Marriage and Murder in Manchvegas, Freaky Farley and Druid Gladiator Clone which are also worth checking out.
Story
Neil (Matt Farley) was a tutor who lived in the ubiquitous berg of Rivertown, USA. Returning from a self-imposed exile, he arrives to find that he has become the laughing stock of the town because of his alleged Riverbeast sightings, earning him the nickname “RB.†He resumes his life by moving in with his godmother and best friend, Teddy (Tom Scalzo), whom he constantly seems to get in fights with. He begins his vocation again by tutoring a young girl named Allie (Sharon Scalzo) who is very intrigued by his reputation and they become close friends. He is very set on trying to get back with his former fiancé Emiline (Elizabeth Peterson), who now is with someone new, and Allie attempts to help him. He knows the only way to get her back is to prove that the Riverbeast exists.
Set on trying to get some pictures of the Riverbeast, Neil hires a big game hunter named Ido Hootkins (Jim Farley). He’s familiar with the Riverbeast, describing it as “half ape, half reptile, half I don’t know what,†and assures him that he will find it. (Of course, Ido has no experiencing hunting anything other than girls.) The Riverbeast causes the deaths of many of Neil’s rivals which, of course, makes him a suspect and gets him arrested.
Spoiler Alert!
Neil is later released when the existence of the Riverbeast is proven true. After many fights with multiple people who get killed–including Allie’s dad, Mr. Stone (Kevin McGee)—Neil finally defeats the creature in a way that no one would suspect. It ends with a ceremony a year later commemorating the event and presenting Allie with a statue of her dad (who’s actually just Kevin McGee painted silver and standing still), and the great closing words: “We didn’t let the Riverbeast get us.â€
Neil in combat with the Riverbeast!
Presentation
The film is very enjoyable and well directed. The clever points they put into it really hit home with the generic clichés of horror films. I mean, the story opens with a guy sitting in a chair with an open book – but no fireplace – and warns the viewers that “this film is not for the nervous.†To further bring back classic camp, they use flashes of red with banging noises to alert the viewer that the Riverbeast is about to make an appearance.
The actors in the movie do a very good job of the melodrama that many horror film actors did in the 50’s, and they come off as very sarcastic at times, like they know they’re making a bad movie but just don’t care. Cleverly, though, you get to see true emotion in their overreactions, and there is great chemistry between them.
The Riverbeast suit is hilarious—taking the low-budget limitations of this film and turning them on their heads by owning the camp—and he looks like a combination of Bigfoot and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. The fight scenes between the creature and the actors come off, intentionally, as sibling rivalry, just smacking each other and whining; it’s pretty funny watching all the different fight scenes leading up to the killing of the beast.
Gothic Fit
I think the monster-minded Gothic viewer would appreciate the concept of a creature that fits in the vein of cryptozoology. (I have studied mythical beasts that do resemble the Riverbeast, which really appealed to me.) Also, for fans of old-school horror that want to see a modern movie that really embraces the camp of yesteryear, I think they’ll have a blast with this one.
While the music in this film may not be Gothic, a lot of Goths I know like movies that are so bad they’re good, and this is one of those movies.
Riverbeast taking in his protein for the day.
Closing Thoughts
The folks at the Hollywood Investigator referred to this movie as “an homage to old-time horror and old-time Americana†and I would have to agree. Looking to find a modern day Creature from the Black Lagoon with a lower budget and B movie acting? This is definitely for you!!!
Story: 4.0 Moons
Presentation: 3.5 Moons
Gothic Fit: 3.0 Moons
Final Score (not an average): 4.0 Moons
